Oh, Diana Vreeland. Such an inspiringly wacky and elegant woman. Those are the best kind of women (well, hello there, Iris Apfel). Those are the women I want to grow to be. Hell, those are the kind of women I want to be NOW.
Back when Miss Vreeland helmed Harper’s Bazaar (now there’s a magazine I haven’t noticed around in a while- I forget whether I was ever subscribed to it pre-college? Because when college came like a ton of bricks I let all of my subscriptions drop (I miss you Elle!) ), she had a column called ‘Why Don’t You…’
and then the column would follow up listing a number of hopelessly chic, luxurious, and elegant things that one might make a habit of. Some are actually doable. Some were ridiculously out of touch.
Here are a selection of my favorite ‘Why Don’t You’ s. And perhaps I’ll play a round a bit with thinking up my own. If you imagine any up, I’d be thrilled to here them.
Why Don’t You…
- Tie black tulle bows on your wrists?
You know, maybe I will - Rinse your blond child’s hair in dead champagne to keep it gold, as they do in France?
Hahahaha. No. Besides, as if I would ever have a blond child. Genetics. - Paint a map of the world on all four walls of your boys’ nursery so they won’t grow up with a provincial point of view?
I’ll add that to all of my carefully laid plans and dreams about prospective children’s nurseries. Believe me, I’ve already got some thoughts. But duly noted. - Turn your old ermine coat into a bathrobe?
My old WHAT? Well, now I want an ermine coat to wear and a particularly ratty one to use as a bathrobe to replace my big puffy thing. Used of course. - Wear violet velvet gloves with everything?
Because I don’t want violet velvet gloves? And no one wears gloves anymore 😥 - Tie and enormous bunch of silver balloons on the foot of your child’s bed on Christmas Eve?
You know what, I will! Reminds me of that time when I was little that my parents decorated my bed canopy for my birthday while I slept. Waking up was a magical moment. - Use a gigantic shell instead of a bucket to ice your champagne?
Despite being 21, I’m still very much a teetotaler. Alcohol doesn’t usually agree with my mood. And I’m not sure where I would find a giant shell. All my beach has are onion rings and seagulls. Which is very much not a bad thing.
List Mimsy 
Don’t remember her exact wording but she suggested to discard the handbag and have sufficient pockets instead – love that one. Would make me kangaroo woman, though….
And didn’t she also say ‘Pink is the navy blue of India?’ Absolutely doable with dark pink.
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I had forgotten those two! Can’t you completely see how the magazine editor character in Funny Face is based off of her?
I personally love pockets- I like somewhere to put my hands- but I don’t suppose Diana Vreeland was talking about people who have to carry textbooks around campus. 😉
And, well, pink… I need to figure out how to wear it, still.
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