Les jeux olympiques

It’s good to be in Paris for the Olympics and realize that it’s not just the US that focuses their broadcasts almost exclusively on their own athletes. France does it too!
Right now I have the full body thumb war that is classical wrestling on in the background, France versus Brazil…
Is that an unfair description? It seems accurate to me, but somehow John Oliver thought ‘foreplay with horse’ was a credible way to sum up dressage and I just… no.
Dressage is dancing with horses! And if all dancing is foreplay then I’m fucked, what with the hip hop, jazz, burlesque, competitive ballroom, and all.

But I’m very glad they’ve been showing a fair amount of the gymnastics. Because I love watching gymnastics and because USA!!!!

But what do the French channels have on the most?

• Cycling: Yeah, those Tour de France people just don’t quit. That poor man from Poland, the breakaway, I have no idea which race, who was out in the front all alone getting plowed by the wind. And then he got overtaken in the last minute by those two other guys double teaming him! Sigh. We Polish need to stick together. I love that man, he’s my hero.
• Fencing: I fenced for a little bit.  I don’t love it and I don’t love watching it.
• That Kayak-Slalom thing: Really though, what the hell is that?
• A tad of tennis
• A drop of dressage
• A pinch of pingpong
• A bit of basketball: Really, does no other nation have any idea how to play basketball? I need to see more HUSTLE, PEOPLE!
• A soupçon of soccer: Yeah, okay, rest of the world football
• A rrr—– something of rugby: Help me out here guys.