I may have insinuated that Frank Sinatra and Nat King Cole were on my naughty list in the last post (ahhh, the seasonal jokes, so terrible), but I actually enjoy them in the right moment and the right frame of mind. Also, if you haven’t watched David Bowie and Bing Crosby duet then you have not truly lived. And there are modern crooners too (looking at you, Buble). Those people whose suave sentimentality is really annoying until you’re in the mood for it and then ah, my heart, so earnest, so pure!
So are we ready? Hold onto your hearts 😛
- The Christmas Waltz
- Santa Baby: Preferably Eartha Kitt. Eartha Kitt is bearable (lovely, even) and she played Yzma in The Emperor’s New Groove. Kronk. I love Kronk.
- Silver Bells: This is a Buble. It’s not so bad.
- Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas: If we’re talking about Judy Garland singing then this is really super lovely and melancholy but then you go and listen to the Sinatra version and it’s just flat as a pancake. A latke.
- Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire: Meh. Sorry NKC.
- Cold December Night: This is also a Buble. This is also not so bad.
- White Christmas
- It’s Beginning to Look a lot like Christmas
- Let it Snow
- There’s No Place like Home for the Holidays: This is good to listen to when you’re trapped in a dorm studying.
- Blue Christmas: I didn’t even realize this was Elvis until so recently. I only knew it from the stop-motion Year Without a Santa Claus.
- Winter Wonderland: And I think of my little cousin’s parody ‘Walking in a Woman’s Underwear’. So festive.
- It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year
- The Christmas Song: Which one, exactly?
The problem with the crooners is that it isn’t so much a time period or a genre as a state of mind and an attitude. So there are tons more songs (some of my favorite traditional ones included) that have been co-opted by crooners (because the world is unfair and nothing ever remains pure). A good rule of thumb? If the singer sounds like they’re trying to snuggle up with you next too a fire and you’re not exactly into it, it’s probably a crooner. Similarly, if you could picture the singer nudging and winking while singing… same.
The crooners. There is no escape.
PS- Like the traditional ones, all of the crooners share the same songs! It would probably work better to just list crooners (but I don’t like them enough to do that, oops).
But I feel guilty because I do like them. But I don’t like them when they’re applied to Christmas music. It’s like a condiment that shouldn’t be put on a certain food.