I’m leaving on Friday (in all likelihood) for my final semester of university. As always, I have very ambivalent feelings about my triumphant return. Less free time is both a good and bad thing, though I’ve never had a hard time keeping myself occupied. More dancing is also a mixed bag, as is nearing the end of my university experience. For someone as… insular as I am, even being around my friends comes with conflicting feelings.
And an aside: The title of this post references Smiles of a Summer Night, an Ingmar Bergman title. And I haven’t seen it and never will because I simply can’t bear with Ingmar Bergman. I’ve tried many times.
I’m in a mad dash to catch up on 2016 movies. I recently caught The Neon Demon and have Allied playing in the background as I type this. I’ve decided it’s not worthy of my full attention (but more on that in a future post).
I’m thinking about what my goals should be for this coming semester, after having completely failed at my fall semester ones (namely dance more and see more of people that I’m going to miss post-graduation. And of course, those will be carried over (in some form) to this semester.
- Work hard and do well in my classes. Keep up with studying and avoid distraction when I’m trying to do work.
- Spend more of my studying and work time outside of my room in the campus’ lovely libraries to establish a better demarcation between home and school (and to keep my mind fresh and less crazy).
- To be a good, caring, and present friend- particularly to Lily but also eveeerrrybody else. Same for being a daughter.
- Invest time into taking care of myself and relaxation, because it always pays off. I can do this by taking myself out for walks, snuggling my kitty, doing puzzles, writing- doing whatever creative or random thing appeals to me in the moment.
- Dress and look well- I won’t be able to capture the admiration of my fellow students much longer! 😛 And looking pretty around campus is very rewarding.
- Keep on top of 2017 film releases! A Movie every week or two will be good for my soul.
- Enjoy reading for pleasure.
- Party more- I absolutely hardly partied last semester. Mostly because I’m turning into an old mature woman and want to stay in and watch Jeopardy (shame we have no television)- but I think I’ll miss the college party thing if I don’t do it at least a few more times. And now that I’m 21, the local club is free and I still haven’t taken advantage!
- Feed myself intelligently and honestly. Even if it means being rabidly dishonest with the Yale Dining system, and stealing all of the peanut tofu and whole cartons of vanilla soy milk.
- Get a healthy amount of sleep. My sleep is weird. I’ve never set an alarm in my life except for the few times I’ve had to wake up around 3 am for ballroom competitions or travel. And it’s even less necessary now when my cat wakes me up slightly before my overly active circadian rhythms kick in. So it’s super important that I don’t stay up too late because sleeping in is a no go (and I’ve never figured out napping either!). Also to be avoided: Feeling depressed or underfed and trying to sleep it off (which I did a few times a couple of years ago).
- Keep in touch with my close friends from high school, make sure to let them know when I’m thinking of them.
- Get in touch with the people who gave me a job and actually start working? Yes, I know, it’s a long story.
- Hold up my end of being an Advanced Dancer Seminar Director. Also help my teammates more outside of the seminar setting. This involves going more often to team dinner, team practice, and socials.
- Try to reach out more to people I’m friendly with but not super close to, even if it makes me uncomfortable. I only have a semester left to ensure that I get invited to their weddings/whatever other exciting things they get up to in the future.
- See more shows. Some of my favorite memories from these past four years are watching the student productions, which are often free.
- Take charge of my future path, even though thinking about it is like staring into the abyss and feeling it stare back.
- Spend wisely. During the semester I have a tendency to be frugal to the extreme as a way to take control of my stress. Spending wisely also means not denying yourself necessary or much-loved things in acts of perverse self-denial.
- Spend more time outside. Even if it’s one of those times I wake up at two am and take a walk around the courtyard.
- Remain aware of politics. It may be tempting to block out what’s going on when you have work to do, and to block out the country when you’re in the Yale bubble, but this is an important time and everyone is an important person.
- Love myself, up, down, and all around.