SAG is a terrible acronym. But I’m not typing out ‘Studio Actor’s Guild Awards’, no matter how handsome Mahershala Ali looked in his white tux.
Also, thank you Mahershala Ali for completely BLASTING Ryan Gosling out of the water with his Golden Globes white tux (all the La La Land love and fanfare makes me a bit vindictive toward Gosling, I admit it. His part in that film is overrated, the film is overrated, and his white suit is overrated.)
Okay, rant over.
Ali is the only gentleman I’m even going to reference because, as we discovered at the Globes, they tend to be boring as fuuuuuu—-. You get it. This is why we need to normalize a masculine interest in clothing, fashion, and appearance. Mostly so that men who are interested in clothing and beauty are not cruelly treated and can be themselves and surrounded by acceptance, but also so that I can look at more interesting tuxedos.
(And Tituss Burgess also looks fabulous)
Mimsy’s Favorite Dress of the night was this striped one on Yara Shahidi.
There are also lots of photos of her twirling and kicking and generally feeling herself and having a good time and loving how she looked so how can I not, I ask you?
Michelle Dockery is our fabulous Stripes Runner Up:
I’m so excited that stripes are more on trend than ever because anyone who knows me can tell you that I have a natural tendency to gravitate toward stripes.
Best Pantsuit Game: Evan Rachel Wood conquers again.
So velvety. So midnight. So well-fit.
Bryce Dallas Howard’s Possible Personal Best:
Shiny and I want her necklaces. Also that is a remarkably pretty color on her. What color is that? Let’s think of fun words for it… maroon, pomegranate, garnet, currant, berry, boysenberry jam. Raspberry cordial…
Best Pregnancy Style, Best White Dress, and Mimsy’s Second Favorite: Natalie Portman
Hiii Natalie. You’re a goddess among men. Your hair is beautiful and your face is beautiful and your earrings are beautiful and your dress is beautiful. Can I babysit?
Best Black Dress of the Night: Octavia Spencer
Fine, fine, you deserve the nomination more than Janelle and Taraji. Okay, maybe no, but Octavia looks beautiful. And also really happy. I love the details of the dress, it really shows off her figure, the neck is gorgeous. Earring choice is on point.
BALLROOM FLOATS Award: Annalise Basso
A brief background for the non-ballroom-inclined among us. Floats are these things that attach at the back or the shoulder or wrist or arm and show off your movement. They’re parts of standard and smooth dresses. So yes, add a whole wheelbarrow of rhinestones and I would wear this at a competition. Downside: they seem to drag the dress down when they’re not being actively worked, which suggests that she may have had a tiring evening. But that dress is fun.
Viola Davis Looks Pretty Award: Viola Davis
Stunning. beautifully fit on her and beautifully crafted. Beautifully styled. Just looking at this makes me smile.
Mimsy’s Third Favorite: Nicole Kidman
You know, it’s hard to argue with that. That dress has the courage of it’s convictions. She was wise to stick with simple styling choices.
- Emma Stone: I promise it’s not just my La La Land vitriol! I get that the shoulder is supposed to look like it’s falling off and betraying her lacy lingerie but it bypasses Madame X and goes straight for contrived. And this is just me but I’m trying so hard to figure out what that floral print on the non-lace portion is. The flowers look like water lilies and so do some of the leaves, but other leaves look more ginkgo-ish? Or more like nasturtiums? I think it’s all meant to be water lily leaves, just from different angles than I’m used to seeing them (to do: snorkel in more ponds?)
- Michelle Williams: I… don’t like it. Even though it is striped. And I like shiny. And I like metallics. But I don’t like the colors on her and the shape is a bit… not. It’s a bit shapeless and the scarf is not my favorite styling choice. It’s just not doing much for her.
- Sarah Paulson: I guess if you’re going to wear a black dress (the Red Carpet version of phoning it in), best go with an interesting peplum. But i don’t like the seam in the middle of the skirt… but still better than Amy Adams, whose black dress was the phoning it in version of phoning it in.
- Chrissy Teigen: She’s not dressed for the Red Carpet exactly but I want her dress for my everyday wardrobe so… win-win? Also A+ necklace shape for that neckline.
- Taraji P. Henson: I am soo impressed with her for going this bold but for that same reason I don’t know if it is a dress that I actually… like? I question the teeny black bows but do think the dress needs a little contrast. And at the same time I feel there’s a disconnect between the top (very sheer and less structured) with the bottom (not sheer and tulle-stiff). But I love the subtle striping in the skirt and I want to see her wear interesting things so I say pretty!
- Thandie Newton: I would be so down for this macabre wild horse-ferris wheel pipe dream without the weird shoulder treatment. But credit to her. This is cool.
- Sofia Vergara: Takes yet another step away from her standard body con mermaid fare. It may be a tulle-y short prom dress with a sparkly bodice, but if there’s one thing you learn in the Ivy League it’s that things are graded on a curve.
- Uzo Aduba: Stately but her breasts look uncomfortable. Is it just me? As an A-B cup I have no personal experience on this one.
- Kaley Cuoco: I like paillettes. They’re shiny. I like blush pink. It’s blush-y. I like tulle. It’s poofy. I’m a simple person. But still questioning the necklace and the sternum bow and the strange green-grey color on the sides?
- Emily Blunt: I like this more than I should because it’s a gorgeous textile. Problem: it morphs her into a rectangle.
- Claire Foy: too many elements in this dress for me. from the pink and orange collar to the odd pink lining to the black sheer to the embroidery. Remove the collar and do a black lining and I could be happy. Especially because those look like little muguet or clover. Happy flowers.
- Gwendoline Christie: You do you, my black sequin jumpsuit friend. Nothing but admiration.
- Mayim Bialik: YES MORE STRIIIPES! Mayim you look so pretty! I like the color palette. Would have chosen not hoops and an updo. And perhaps a less basic purse. So maybe I would have styled it differently (bracelets and rings instead of a necklace). But that’s an excellent dress on her.
- Salma Hayek: It’s very Easter and not really her color, is it? The way the top is fit and the giant shoulder poppy don’t really help matters.