Non-Buyer’s Remorse

I think I can say for sure that I’m getting over my illness- I was well enough to go into Boston yesterday (‘well enough’ in that my desperation for ice cream outweighed my physical weakness) and, in spite of the aches and temperature fluctuations of a sick sleep, I’m feeling pretty good.
Which is excellent because I’m taking a short trip this weekend, and won’t be around to update the blog for a few days.

Now, to the post at hand:

I hope I’m not overstepping my boundaries in telling a story that isn’t originally mine, but rather Mom’s.  I think it’s so universal-

When she was a little girl Memom and Pop Pop gave her a certain amount of money with which to buy back-to-school clothes.  At the shop, she fell in love with a little white top, but if she bought it she wouldn’t have really had enough funds left to make any other purchases.  She didn’t get it, but she still remembers it, rather than any of the things she did buy.

She remembers is pretty acutely, and I think that, regardless of whether she made the “right” decision or not, she does kind of regret it.

It’s interesting, thinking about the things we choose to share our life with us, whether by chance or by design. And also really interesting to think about the things that we love and remember but that, for one reason or another, didn’t come home with us.

Thinking off the top of my head about what mine are:

  • A certain raspberry-colored Chanel boucle jacket: I ran into this one in one of the INA consignment shops in Manhattan years and years ago and still mourn it.  There was never any question of buying it (it was about $2000) but it was beautiful.
  • A white men’s blazer: Maybe last year I accompanied Dad to one of the men’s consignment stores (it has since closed 😦 ) on Boston’s Newbury Street. I remember he tried on (and bought!) a kick ass hit man black trench coat. I was playing around when I tried on a slightly oversize men’s white blazer. And then promptly fell in love with it.  It was $189, which I decided was too much for a spur of the moment whimsical purchase (which it was). But by the time I went back for it, having thought about it frequently and lovingly, it was gone. Snapped up, likely by a gentleman who looks nowhere near as good in it as I did 😛
  • A Ralph Lauren safari jacket: It just came into my life at the wrong time (i.e., when I was an idiot).  I was at a Salvation Army and ran across a beautiful safari jacket that I tried on and thought was okay- while Mom, who was with me, was urging me to buy it and thought it looked great. I was kind of meh, thought it might not really be my color, might be a bit too boring/mature (this was maybe late high school), and I didn’t get it. I may have been right that it was too mature for me at the time, but I would like to have it now. 😛

I think that’s all I can think of- although undoubtedly something will occur to me in a few minutes. How about you, any of these experiences?

Writing this list recalled to mind a lot of things that I had tried on and liked but ultimately elected not to buy. And while I think back on these things fondly, I don’t really miss them, although likely if I had them I would enjoy them. I think there’s a lot to be said for appreciating things without needing or wanting them, getting used to being around beautiful things and not having them.

I personally really prefer the feeling of NBR to BR- which I get all too often, or at least used to, when I was a lot harder on myself.  With NBR, at least there’s always the feeling of having exercised some self-discipline- and there’s no reminder of having made a ‘mistake’ but memory.

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