Top Disney Lullabies

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I’ll admit that I’m on a bit of a Disney kick lately, but this idea didn’t sprout from some subconscious desire to make up for the pain of the other day’s Disney bracket.
Actually, it was inspired by my inability to fall asleep last night.

So here it is, a count down of the top Disney lullabies, and one honorable mention.

#6: Baby Mine, Dumbo
If this helps you fall asleep there is undoubtedly something wrong with you.  Sure it sounds soft and gentle, but if you pair the actual lyrics with the context of the film it’s absolutely heart wrenching and sob-inducing. I still can’t hear it without tearing up WITHIN THE FIRST FEW BARS. And I still can’t watch Dumbo.
Not soothing, 0/5

#5: So This Is Love, Cinderella
I wouldn’t have included this but apparently my cousin, when she was little, liked for my aunt to sing it to her at bedtime.
Because I love Megan and respect her choices, 1/5

#4: Love, Robin Hood
Robin Hood is one of the lesser known Disney films but I wouldn’t exactly say that it’s under appreciated.  Truly in my opinion there isn’t much to appreciate besides this song, which is lovely and poignant.  But… a lot of musical interludes and somewhat repetitive/oddly spaced lyrics.
Life is brief, but when it’s gone, love goes on and on, 2/5

Notice: We’re now getting into what I consider to be the ~real stuff~

#3: When You Wish Upon a Star, Pinocchio
You don’t need to have the voice of Louis Armstrong for this to sound beautiful (I mean, Gepetto pulled it off pretty well, right?).  Also, it’s pretty hard to argue with this as a classic.  Points docked, however, for a disagreeable message.
Some requests are too extreme kids- life’s not fair, 3/5

#2 is a TIE!

#2: Second Star to the Right, Peter Pan
I have to admit that this is one of my all time favorite Disney songs and I also have to admit that it probably sounds better if you have The Disney Chorus on hand.  But one voice could also do this pretty beautifully, with the exception of that very high pitched interlude, the main cause of docked points. You’ll have to work your way around that one.
Upshot: Dreams, stars, Neverland, mention of ‘twinkle, twinkle’, but still not basic. 4/5

#2: Bella Notte, Lady and the Tramp
As sung by the Disney chorus as opposed to the offensively stereotypical yet still lovable Italian pasta chefs. Seriously, can I just rent out the Disney Chorus when I give birth? Maybe not, they must be pretty old now.  Some charming and profound lyrics like “This is the night, it’s a beautiful night, and they call it ‘beautiful night’, but in Italian”. It may not turn your baby into Einstein like some Mozart arguably might, but it sure is soothing.  And at east chances are your baby will learn at least two words of Italian along the way.  I feel bad being so sardonic because I truly do love this song (its another of my favorites) and the rest of the lyrics are, to borrow a word from the song ‘enchanting’.  Short but sweet.
Can be repeated as necessary, 4/5

The BEST Disney Lullaby of ALL TIME
#1: La La Lu, Lady and the Tramp
*whispers* little star sweeper
My Mom sang this one, 5/5

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Honorable Mention: That’s My Lullaby, The Lion King 2
Parents, don’t try this at home

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Names I Shouldn’t Name Babies

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I guess I just need more cats…

I have a long list (Okay, if I’m being brutally honest here I have Excel spreadsheets) of my favorite baby names, because onomastics and naming has been one of my obscure interests since middle school.
Collecting names that long, you end up with some pretty odd favorites. So I thought I would post a list of names even I would hesitate to saddle a child with (a lot of the names I enjoy would I think set off red flags for others- Edwidge, Ludovica, Odysseo, Faisal- and yes, I did choose those names because they’re some of the hardest to get behind) but this list is for the really out there, or otherwise unacceptable. Continue reading “Names I Shouldn’t Name Babies”

Report Cards for Disney Princes

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I’m showing off my Disney knowledge again, this time with princes! (You can see my Disney Princess Showdown here!)  Just so you get an idea, on the most recent time-wasting Disney trivia quiz I took (this morning, it has been 0 days since my last stupid quiz) I got 100% 97% (I can’t help it if I didn’t know the voice actor who played Kuzco, expecting too much of me).
It’s harder to rank Disney’s princes because unlike the princesses, they don’t really follow a cohesive pattern from the beginning of animated movie times to the present.  The earliest princes were essentially non-entities who only came around for a quick smooch at the end. Prostitutes, basically.  (I kid)(Kind of.)  And then the later princes come with character development because we stopped feeling so comfortable with marrying people we had just meant and umm…. necrophilia?  So this is just a highly highly subjective “report card” for all of the Disney princes I could think of. Subjective like all grade scales. I’m at university, I know.
(Love the curve, live the curve). Continue reading “Report Cards for Disney Princes”

Disney Princess Showdown

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(Pocket Princesses, a comic I love. Look them up!)

There are a lot of arguable Disney princesses, but only a few in the Disney Princess line, which is a collection of the most elite, popular, and franchise-able characters (Snow White, Cinderella, Aurora, Ariel, Belle, Jasmine, Pocahontas, Mulan, Tiana, Rapunzel and Merida).  But none of these people (with the exception of Mulan) are favorite Disney heroines of mine.
It’s kind of unfair, because they’re chosen for overwhelmingly commercial reasons.
So here’s a ranked showdown of all of the Disney princesses I could come up with.  The princesses are ranked on a few basic qualities: 1) born into or marries royalty, 2) has animals sidekicks, 3) sings songs, 4) inspirational/powerful.
Honestly I think Disney is a little too focused on the ‘princess’ designation- there are so many more things to celebrate about women than royal status.  I’m rewarding half points for incompletely achieved criteria. Continue reading “Disney Princess Showdown”