It seems like every time I’ve been posting recently it’s been prefaced by an apology about my lack of consistency. I’m here again and again with another excuse- you would think being homebound with a bad ankle would lead to more posting rather than less, but instead I’ve just generally been very off my game for the last week. Thankfully I’m starting to shape up and am more or less ready to rejoin the land of the living/productive, which is good because we’ve got some family trips lined up which I would never for the life of me be missing.
But that does also mean I’m unlikely to be posting consistently for another week and a half. The boondocks of PA doesn’t even have phone connection, much less WiFi.
See you on the other side!
In the meantime, I’ve amassed a hideous army of motley links from around the interwebs.
Why so many posts about Instagram?
Peace and Acceptance:
- The trouble with Hollywood’s gender flips: “These reboots require women to relive men’s stories instead of fashioning their own. And they’re subtly expected to fix these old films, to neutralize their sexism and infuse them with feminism, to rebuild them into good movies with good politics, too. They have to do everything the men did, except backwards and with ideals.”
- The Pop Culture Detective strikes again! The topic: Abduction as Romance.
- The Hate U Give. This looks pretty great.
- What is Cinemascore?
Hi hi hi. I missed the links post last week not because I didn’t have enough to share, just from pure laziness. So it’s a bit heavy on the links today, but I have broken them down into bite-size and easily digestible categories.
- A wince-worthy compilation of Dad Jokes.
- The New Dad: What the evolution of stock photos shows about our changing understanding of paternity and parenthood.
- How ASMR became an internet phenomenon.
- This Parisian restaurant only lets you in with a baby or a bump.
- I’ve been following this illustrator for a long time and now she’s selling some of her prints of Etsy!
- Bumblebees use scent and color patterns to tell flowers apart.
Happy Friday! It seems like a pretty good day 9a bit nippy) and I’m looking forward to some exciting doings this weekend.
How about you?
Happy Friday and Happy Mother’s Day weekend!
Do you have any plans?
In a few hours we (my parents and I) will be going up to Belfast, Maine to spend the weekend with my Aunt Susan and Bill, whose mother owns an alpaca farm. There will be alpaca shearing, vegan food, and tactful discussions about Infinity War without mentioning to movie fan Bill (it’s so nice to be around other movie fans) that I never plan to see it.
I’ve been reading a lot, falling behind on the films I have checked out from the library, gardening for hours a day, and enjoying the springly weather. I also cooked some interesting pancakes yesterday so that have foods when I return next week. I will report back.
What’s happening on the worldwide web?
- Speaking of movie people, this film looks like it could be amazing. Also really excited for The Seagull, an adaptation of one of the few Chekhov pieces I’e actually read.
- A beautiful essay that I’m at a loss as to how to describe.
- The Duchess of Northumberland sounds like a fun lady- she created the garden at Alnwick Castle, possible the deadliest garden in the world.
- How does Deadpool always win the promotion game? This is genius.
- One of the greatest things about being back in America is the access to SNL’s youtube uploads. I know the main story (DESERVEDLY) is the release of This is America by Donald Glover- but let’s not forget about the Barbie skit.
- #MeToo and Junot Diaz: Cycles of victimization and victimizing, sexual harassment, celebrity and race.
- When two celebrity ladies (internet fashion personae?) give birth in close succession and get together to share their experiences with the early days of motherhood.
- I love this Public Place Meditation Guide– it’s very closely related to some wisdom my mother shared with me years ago: practice seeing the divinity in everyone around you.
- A mathematical model may explain how two brains agree on the experiential profile of smells.
- Possibly the most charming interview I’ve ever seen. I think I may have just fallen in love with all three of these men.
- Have you liked any pages created by Russian bots?Ask Facebook.
- A complex algorithm predicts the likelihood of final season Game of Thrones deaths. Bye, Daenerys.
- An amazing photograph. I love whales.
It’s been such a week so I’m just going to throw some links on here and run. Seriously, right from vacation into double killer exams. When it feel like a long week and it’s only Tuesday you know you’re in trouble.
But I bought my flight home, wheee!
- A children’s book to teach about the huge and overwhelming emotional spectrum. Hooray for raising emotionally literate and empathetic children.
- It’s Luckyscent’s 15 year anniversary- and they’re welcoming some cool store exclusives!
- This instagram account makes beautiful patterns from everyday objects. One step up from freakebana?
- My favorite Oscar speeches!- Guillermo del Toro and Frances McDormand (I just watched the latter again (for the fourth time? Still so powerful. #InclusionRider).
- I shared an essay about Olympic figure skater Adam Rippon a week or two ago- and he seems pretty charming in person. And he has a cute belly.
- Wait, are they going to make a film from Chekhov’s The Seagull? Because that would be amazing. Also, how many films is Saoirse Ronan in this year? Also Annette Bening.
- Heartwarming story of the week: A tiny little girl transfixed by the National Portrait Gallery’s portrait of Michelle Obama meets her idol.
- My favorite, sent to me by my college roommate (whose birthday was yesterday, Happy Birthday, Lily!)- the largest ever analysis of film dialogue by gender. It reminds me of how my Mom has stopped watching films exclusively about white men (she made a recent exception for Call Me By Your Name) and now finds that most films she watches are about black men. The lack of substantial female roles in the film industry is really astonishing.
My life is dark and full of terrors but also pretty good. I’m still getting over my stomach bug/food poisoning, my landlords are creatures from the black lagoon, I have an exam tomorrow and an exam on Friday and I am NOT PREPARED (Constance the Perpetually Unready) but I had a lovely time in Spain and Malta over my break.
What can you do?
I woke up at 3 am for my flight back to France and I’m a mess trying to gain the energy to shower and study, but today is Oscar Day and I have some time-sensitive links that should go up. And also procrastination.
- The Personal, First: My Dad broke the world record in indoor rowing for AK amputees over 50 years of age. If he wasn’t officially the coolest before (he was), he certainly is now.
- The perfume oriented:
Scents of place: brains can navigate based solely on smells.
A short short for Diptyque’s fiftieth anniversary and their two new releases.
Hermes is getting in on that sweet sweet Arabian market.
A dream job and a dreamy fragrance collection.
Immortalizing the scents of people and the scents of places.
- Very excited for Love, Simon. Especially after this review (from one of my favorite youtube critics).
- The Scrunchie Renaissance: the much maligned accessory that made a resurgence last summer now has a prominent background role in Oscar-nominated I, Tonya and costs boatloads of money at Balenciaga.
- Dick’s Sporting Goods, in the wake of the Florida shooting, will no longer sell assault style rifles. Good on DSG for not living up to its name.
- Positive Self Talk, an illustration by Mari Andrew.
- Another video from pop Culture Detective! This time on the widespread media trope of ‘stalking for love‘, wherein invasive, coercive, manipulative, and otherwise inappropriate behavior is presented as an endearing aspect of courtship.
- Am I Gay or Straight? On giving yourself the power and permission to be who you are.
- And a toe-dip into tonight’s Oscars:
How Rotten Tomatoes may have radically skewed the Oscars’ Best Picture Race: The demographic ratings trends of the films over time is really fascinating. Also I feel the need to look up past years’ best screenplay winners.
Hollywood stylists are killing red carpet style, an not in a good way. I also blame the internet, which is usually a good move.
I’m going to be honest, this is more of a rant/potential overreaction in response to a perceived injustice.
Perceived injustice in the form of something a friend/classmate said that I found both a) hurtful, b) thoughtless, and c) pretty damn problematic.
So definitely one of the lesser injustices in the world, but still something that raised a lot of feelings for me, which am now going to get off of my chest.
The remark was something along the lines of stating that pregnancy= peak femininity. At know time in a woman’s life is she more truly a “woman” than when she is with child.
Okay, my problems with that statement first, and then a list of ways I think we can be EVEN MORE FEMININE.
- A lot of women cannot, in fact, get pregnant. A lot of women feel broken, less than, and incomplete because they can not give birth to the children they desire (or that society has conditioned them to see as the defining purpose of their lives). Many women feel like failures if they have infertility issues.
I may be one of these women. For medical reasons, its quite possible that I won’t be fertile. I love children, and despite my fear of being a terrible mother and the pain of natural childbirth, having a baby is something I would really love to be in my future (witness my obsession with baby names, children’s books, and all manner of miniature person paraphernalia).
The takeaway here is- many women can’t have children and that doesn’t make them and less female.
- Defining the epitome of femininity as pregnancy- something kind of passive in that it is done to a woman by a man- is an issue for me. It’s a really reductive view of what it means to be a woman- i.e. to be a baby-making machine, an oven for a bun, a brood mare, (your analogy here). There is so much more to being a human woman than passing on your genes and prolonging the species. And I’m not talking about boobs either. It’s just such a dull view of what women can be. So biological, so without choice, so impersonal, so f*cking traditional and… medieval.
- Which brings me to I guess my last point, which is that society has conditioned women to see childbearing and motherhood as their final purpose, their definition, their ultimate test for hundreds if not thousands of years. It’s 2018. The idea of womanhood and femininity really needs to expand beyond basic biological processes to include all of the different things that womanhood and/or femininity (because anyone can be feminine, not only women- it’s a gender rather than sex thing) has to offer. There are so many different ways to be feminine. So many different life paths you can take. Deciding not to have children, being unable to have children, having an unconventional pregnancy or path to motherhood does not mean you’re not feminine or not a woman.
So here are some suggestions on alternative ways to reach peak femininity, that don’t involve getting knocked up. Or a penis. Or subjecting your body to drastic changes. Or a huge life choice that may or may not be what you want for yourself.
- Take female-specific multivitamins.
I have never felt more feminine that when popping a One-A-Day Women’s. Not sponsored.
- Watch a chickflick.
Do you self-identify as a chick? Is this a film you like? Then it’s a chickflick. Get it, girl.
You know, I can’t even do this anymore. I was googling ‘how to be feminine for more ideas that I could subvert, but they’re also a irritating, contradictory, and offensive that I can’t even complete this list.
Here are some favorites though:
- Speak softly/learn to be shy (but also cool and be outspoken)
No lie these four are all on the same list.
- Smell good.
Not like a smelly man.
- Don’t cut your hair.
After multivitamins, looking like Samara from The Ring has always made me feel particularly ladylike and attractive.
- Avoid arguments.
Well, failed that one.
But can we also just recognize that this disqualifies SO MANY AMAZING WOMEN WHO ARE KNOWN FOR THE THINGS THAT THEY’VE DONE AND THEIR OPINIONS AS OPPOSED TO THEIR LOOKS AND BREATHY VOICES?
Yeah, bye Rosa Parks.
And don’t even get me started on the angry black woman not fitting the ideal vision of femininity because I’m already going to explode.
- BUT DON’T FORGET: BE YOU AND LOVE YOURSELF FOR WHO YOU ARE
Yes, this is on the same list. Excuse me while I go jump in a lake.
I just looked at another list thinking of continuing but there’s so much more and I’m getting keyed up. It’s 8:30 am on Sunday and I’m calling it quits.
It’s funny how when there are huge systemic problems involved you can never actually success in getting your frustration off your chest because there’s just more and more and more and more.