It seems like every time I’ve been posting recently it’s been prefaced by an apology about my lack of consistency. I’m here again and again with another excuse- you would think being homebound with a bad ankle would lead to more posting rather than less, but instead I’ve just generally been very off my game for the last week. Thankfully I’m starting to shape up and am more or less ready to rejoin the land of the living/productive, which is good because we’ve got some family trips lined up which I would never for the life of me be missing.
But that does also mean I’m unlikely to be posting consistently for another week and a half. The boondocks of PA doesn’t even have phone connection, much less WiFi.
See you on the other side!
In the meantime, I’ve amassed a hideous army of motley links from around the interwebs.
Why so many posts about Instagram?
Peace and Acceptance:
- The trouble with Hollywood’s gender flips: “These reboots require women to relive men’s stories instead of fashioning their own. And they’re subtly expected to fix these old films, to neutralize their sexism and infuse them with feminism, to rebuild them into good movies with good politics, too. They have to do everything the men did, except backwards and with ideals.”
- The Pop Culture Detective strikes again! The topic: Abduction as Romance.
- The Hate U Give. This looks pretty great.
- What is Cinemascore?
I’m going to be honest, this is more of a rant/potential overreaction in response to a perceived injustice.
Perceived injustice in the form of something a friend/classmate said that I found both a) hurtful, b) thoughtless, and c) pretty damn problematic.
So definitely one of the lesser injustices in the world, but still something that raised a lot of feelings for me, which am now going to get off of my chest.
The remark was something along the lines of stating that pregnancy= peak femininity. At know time in a woman’s life is she more truly a “woman” than when she is with child.
Okay, my problems with that statement first, and then a list of ways I think we can be EVEN MORE FEMININE.
- A lot of women cannot, in fact, get pregnant. A lot of women feel broken, less than, and incomplete because they can not give birth to the children they desire (or that society has conditioned them to see as the defining purpose of their lives). Many women feel like failures if they have infertility issues.
I may be one of these women. For medical reasons, its quite possible that I won’t be fertile. I love children, and despite my fear of being a terrible mother and the pain of natural childbirth, having a baby is something I would really love to be in my future (witness my obsession with baby names, children’s books, and all manner of miniature person paraphernalia).
The takeaway here is- many women can’t have children and that doesn’t make them and less female.
- Defining the epitome of femininity as pregnancy- something kind of passive in that it is done to a woman by a man- is an issue for me. It’s a really reductive view of what it means to be a woman- i.e. to be a baby-making machine, an oven for a bun, a brood mare, (your analogy here). There is so much more to being a human woman than passing on your genes and prolonging the species. And I’m not talking about boobs either. It’s just such a dull view of what women can be. So biological, so without choice, so impersonal, so f*cking traditional and… medieval.
- Which brings me to I guess my last point, which is that society has conditioned women to see childbearing and motherhood as their final purpose, their definition, their ultimate test for hundreds if not thousands of years. It’s 2018. The idea of womanhood and femininity really needs to expand beyond basic biological processes to include all of the different things that womanhood and/or femininity (because anyone can be feminine, not only women- it’s a gender rather than sex thing) has to offer. There are so many different ways to be feminine. So many different life paths you can take. Deciding not to have children, being unable to have children, having an unconventional pregnancy or path to motherhood does not mean you’re not feminine or not a woman.
So here are some suggestions on alternative ways to reach peak femininity, that don’t involve getting knocked up. Or a penis. Or subjecting your body to drastic changes. Or a huge life choice that may or may not be what you want for yourself.
- Take female-specific multivitamins.
I have never felt more feminine that when popping a One-A-Day Women’s. Not sponsored.
- Watch a chickflick.
Do you self-identify as a chick? Is this a film you like? Then it’s a chickflick. Get it, girl.
You know, I can’t even do this anymore. I was googling ‘how to be feminine for more ideas that I could subvert, but they’re also a irritating, contradictory, and offensive that I can’t even complete this list.
Here are some favorites though:
- Speak softly/learn to be shy (but also cool and be outspoken)
No lie these four are all on the same list.
- Smell good.
Not like a smelly man.
- Don’t cut your hair.
After multivitamins, looking like Samara from The Ring has always made me feel particularly ladylike and attractive.
- Avoid arguments.
Well, failed that one.
But can we also just recognize that this disqualifies SO MANY AMAZING WOMEN WHO ARE KNOWN FOR THE THINGS THAT THEY’VE DONE AND THEIR OPINIONS AS OPPOSED TO THEIR LOOKS AND BREATHY VOICES?
Yeah, bye Rosa Parks.
And don’t even get me started on the angry black woman not fitting the ideal vision of femininity because I’m already going to explode.
- BUT DON’T FORGET: BE YOU AND LOVE YOURSELF FOR WHO YOU ARE
Yes, this is on the same list. Excuse me while I go jump in a lake.
I just looked at another list thinking of continuing but there’s so much more and I’m getting keyed up. It’s 8:30 am on Sunday and I’m calling it quits.
It’s funny how when there are huge systemic problems involved you can never actually success in getting your frustration off your chest because there’s just more and more and more and more.
Let’s just roll right in…
I woke up too early for no reason so here’s a links post, on time for once!
- I’ve started following French Vogue online and I’m really enjoying their “Sunday with…” series. Credit to the Jeanne Damas one for introducing me to this song.
- Love this Classic Film Club idea. I’ve seen most of the film noir on the list, but this selection of Japanese film noir is completely new to me and really peaking my interest! Where to start?
- The Marrying Mr. Darcy board game. Because it is a truth universally acknowledged, etc…
Truly I have mixed feelings, but I’m curious.
- The trailer for “A Quiet Place“. Spooky. I like.
- The structural inequality within the comedy industry. “The solution is putting people in positions of power who are not male, not straight, not cisgender, not white. This is not taking something away unfairly — it is restoring opportunities that have been historically withheld.”
- You’ve heard of latte art, but how about smoothie art?
- My chosen candidate for the 2020 presidential election.
- My nihilistic sense of humor strikes again, but this time with cats. Super relatable.
- The pajama trend has been taken to its only logical conclusion and we can all go home now.
- The subtle misogyny of male incompetence. I’m surrounded by idiots.
- In at least 34 cases, unusually long Postal Service delays resulted in rejections of DACA applications.
- Choosing a different sperm donor is choosing a different child and a different future. What surprised this couple about their experience.
- I’m sorry, Blake Shelton isn’t even Gwen Stefani’s sexiest husband.
- Karen Brit Chick (who you completely should follow, I’m in love with her) on her favorite vintage shops in NYC. Saving this for my next trip.
- Deadpool mixed with Bob Ross. What’s not to love?
- Honestly it is not Teen Vogue’s time. It’s more relevant now than ever and I wish it had been in my time the politically active and interesting publication that it has been for the past year or so.
Sorry for using up all of your free NYT articles!
It may not be Friday where you are- hell, it’s hardly Friday here- but I’m starting a new (and long) day and will try to get this out of the gate before it becomes impossible. And if this is posted on Saturday, then you will know it was, actually, impossible.
- “It’s time for their to be roles in the ballet where two men can fall in love”. YES!
- Still trying to scrounge up and SNL skits I can find. Here’s Kellyanne Conway as Pennywise the Clown.
- A friend of mine who is also a Yale professor but who was not my professor and who is an amazing, lovely, inspiring woman wrote about her experience at a ten-day silent Vispassana meditation retreat.
- You already know my (very long and involved) feelings on the #MeToo campaign. From Reductress: Woman posts another Facebook status in hopes that men will learn to be human beings.
- A bunch of exhibitions coming up in Paris! What should I go to?
- Are box stalls really the best option for your horse’s health and happiness, or are they designed to reflect what human beings would want, were they horses?
- Is this feminist poem really by a third grader? “I am a church bell, gonging out wrongs and rights and normal nights.”
- A whole new way for me to be antisocial: Are you an introvert, an extrovert, or a Victorian ghost with unfinished business?
- This is so well-written and so funny: Will pumpkin spice destroy us all?
- Instead of saying, “Do not go around lighting people on fire,” we are telling women, “Don’t be flammable.” Men of the world, you are not the weather.
I had an emotionally trying day, so let’s turn to the profound depths of the endless internet to drown my troubles.
Thankfully, after two weeks of fairly few links, I stumbled this week across a lot of interesting things (hope you’ll agree!) Continue reading “Friday Links 6/23: The Drought is Over”